The guy who was behind me in the longest grocery store check-out lane EVER in history, who insisted on humming Let It Be along with the Muzak playing in the store. He was so loud and so far off key, it made me want to shove items into my ears that I normally would have reserved for an impulse buy.

I would’ve thought he’d only hum a line or two, if anything. However, from the opening line to the end of the song, he hummed. I even think he hummed after the song was over. Somewhere in the middle of this ordeal, I asked god for some freak check-out related accident to occur, thus putting an end to this torture and what happened? Everyone ahead of me wrote a CHECK for their purchase.

It was at this time that I realized I had died and gone to hell.