Depression is a funny thing to live with. Not funny like in a Last Comic Standing way, but in a rather odd way. I have lived with it long enough and I know enough about it to know that it affects different people differently.

For myself, I’m rarely ever in a particularly awesome mood but there are certainly times that are better than others. As far as I’m concerned it can sneak up on me and bite me in the ass faster than I can say “Captain Morgan, rescue me”. As we all know, the Captain never really “rescues” anyone, anyway. Except, well…there was that one time, but that’s another post for another day.

Depression for me has a grip unlike anything else I’ve ever known. It feels like it wants nothing more than to never let me go. Conversely, I want nothing more than to fight it as much as I can although all too often I slip deeper and deeper into it. I suppose I write this now as a result of feeling its awesome power enveloping me.

I wish I could better describe the way I feel. I suppose to say that there is an overwhleming sense of hopelessness would be an understatement. There are times, such as this, when I could crawl away into a dark hole somewhere safe from the world and just stay there. And sometimes, I feel like everything fails and falls apart no matter what I do, so why bother?

I decided to write this because some of you have shared your own experiences with depression with me and in some way, it helps. It helps to know that there are people out there that struggle with the same thing that I do on an ongoing basis.

I know many people would say “just deal with it”. I’m having a real hard time “dealing with it” right now.