I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately.

Consider this:

If we all focused a little more on the close proximity of death, odds are that we would do a far better job of appreciating our lives and most especially, the loved ones we share our lives with.

I feel like I’m nearly constantly aware of how close death is to each and every one of us, ready to lash out and exterminate at any random moment for any random reason, always ready to steal from us things we can never get back; the only inevitable experience each of us will face and simultaneously the one thing we do nearly everything in our power to avoid thinking about or dealing with logically and rationally, before we have to, of course.

I really have a hard time understanding why.

I don’t know what to say to someone who says that death is too depressing or morbid to consider on any sort of regular, daily basis. Everyone has to consider it sooner than later.

Whether or not you occasionally consider death, death considers you constantly. No one is immune. Nothing comes to us more naturally than death, but maybe it comes more naturally to think about it when you’ve lost people you loved. Maybe this is why I think about it a lot. Maybe this is why I realize that everyday there are a million different things that could take our lives away from us, in an instant and there isn’t a goddamned thing we could do about it.

When your time is up, your time is up. There are no do-overs. There are no take backs. Every day, every minute we have, is precious. Considering the reality of death only serves to remind me of that. I fail to see how that’s such a bad thing.

In the wake of September 11th, everyone seemed to hold the mindset that life is infinitely more precious than we previously realized, at least on any sort of regular basis. The norm became telling people that we loved them all the time, or at the very least, more often than we did prior to the tragedy. It was really awesome in a very sad and tragic, fucked-up sort of way.

Everyone was hit so hard, it seemed, at first, that things could never go back to the way they were before. Of course it was only a matter of time before they did. I think we even shocked ourselves with how quickly we let everything return to “normal”. What should have have left us permanently shaken to our cores, literally unable to regress to our hollow, pretentious pasts turned out to be nothing more than a bump in the road, a blip on the radar of our collective consciences.

Everyone agrees that it shouldn’t take such a disaster to affect positive change, but it did and yet even that wasn’t enough to bring real change, at least not for most people.

Real change transforms something or someone forever and no matter what people like to say, for whatever pseudo-patriotic reason, we weren’t really changed forever. At least not in positive ways that count. We’re just more fearful, more hateful, more blood-thirsty and detached than ever. And that’s the way we like it. Apparently, that’s the American way.

Don’t give a shit about anybody but ourselves. No matter how you look at it, number one is always first, always will be.

And I have been the leader at the forefront of this movement. I’m far more quick with a middle finger or a dirty look or a litany of curses for the random stranger who cuts me off in traffic than I am with understanding, patience or affection. I hate this about myself and I want to change it. It’s ugly and I’m ashamed to admit it. I was raised with more love in my heart than that and I constantly wonder what happened to me? What happened to that love and compassion I was given a wealth of as a child?

To me, it’s far more depressing to think about how shitty we are to one another every day than it is to think about death. We have the power to avoid treating each other like garbage. We can’t do a fucking thing about the fact that we are going to die.

I hope we are able to pull our heads out of our collective asses before another tragedy forces us to confront that dark side of reality because, for as hard as it is to face, it’s much easier to confront it on one’s own timeline, in one’s own mind, than it is to have it brutally imposed on you by a cruel master who knows no limit to the pain he can bring, nor has any regard whatsoever for the manner in which it is delivered to us.

German artist Käthe Kollwitz was famous for the quote, “I am in the world to change the world”.

We have a chance every day. We have multiple chances every day; chances to do something good. Remembering that that every day is priceless, and every moment counts, maybe we will do better with what little time we all have left.

Don’t put off the important stuff.

Today is all we have.